I’ve been living abroad for almost two years now, and I’ve been cheating on my wife back home. She doesn’t know — at least not yet. We still talk regularly, and she trusts me completely. That’s what makes it worse. I look her in the eyes on video calls, I say “I love you,” and yet I’m living a double life out here.

It started with loneliness, then turned into something physical, and now it’s become routine. The woman I’m seeing here knows I’m married, but she doesn’t seem to care — and I haven’t stopped her. I keep telling myself it’s temporary, that I’ll stop eventually, but I haven’t.

I don’t know if I’m a terrible person or just stuck in a situation I’ve lost control of. I think about my wife and what it would do to her if she ever found out. Sometimes I want to confess, but I know it would destroy everything. Other times, I just want to cut it all off and pretend it never happened. But even that feels dishonest.